Sunday, 23 November 2014

Dear GoD.

Dear God,
I know I am far from perfect and most of the times I am not very ladylike, I know you watch my every move and you expect so much more than I give.

The world is a very messy place to live these days and surviving takes a lot more than hoping for the best.
I didn't pray yesterday because it was a long hectic day, I also didn't pray today because I woke up hours after fajr and the water was just too cold.

Thursday, 16 October 2014

...................No Title ..............

Hi Guys,
I've been busy in the last two weeks, but I hope every one is fine.
I got an answer from the school , so I have to repeat constitutional law, the assignments and exams, I was shocked but got over it pretty quickly as they say everything happens for a reason.
For now I'm job hunting, droppings CV's as if my life depends on it, Ruk's needs a job badly and terribly, I have all the time now so I might as well make the most of it and make some money too.

I don't know why I cant get a job , I'm pretty much frustrated at this point but I'm not going to give up, even dropping CV's at stores that I know would not hire me, because I know I do not fit the criteria of their staff.
I walked into  Michael Kors to drop a CV and was embarrassed the minute I walked in, the girls working there were tall and model like, so there I was, 5'1 size 14. I looked so lost in the store, one of the sales assistant noticed I had a CV, therefore I couldn't walk out so I put on a fake smile, gave the manager my C.V and walked out.

I've never imagine how hard life can be for single parents and I got  first hand experience in the last two weeks, my mum went back home leaving your's truly in charge. Dropping and picking the kids in school , they all attend three different schools and from 8:30 to 4 I spend my time driving, cooking and cleaning, I almost fell asleep at the wheel today but I managed. To all the single parents out there God is your strength and I pray you all reap the fruit of your labour.

Oh I got to hang out with my brother who I haven't seen or talked to in 14 years, it was fun having him around the house, It was as if we didn't lose a day and now he is gone. I do miss him though a lot.

Got two piercings, re-pierced my tragus and it hurts a lot, the other one somewhere me and the future hubby can see . No its not down south.

That's all for now.
Until next time.
XXXX
L.D

Sunday, 5 October 2014

Saturday night.

Was out last night and it was fun, partying with my elder brother whom I haven't seen in fourteen years. Last night was my first  night out since I decided to stop drinking and it went pretty well queuing for over 15 minutes at the bar for a can of red bull, happy days !.

I hated the fact I was sober apart from giving up alcohol, I was the designated driver and I was too sober to witness some of the things going on around me, grown women in their thirties and forties squeezing their over flowing bits into peplum dresses and the rest looking like they stepped of a fashion court room after been convicted for committing the worst fashion offence known to mankind.

Sunday, 28 September 2014

Leave me alone.

Every time you call I want to scream at you, tell you leave me alone because I'm tired of your BS and selfishness but I don't because I want you to remember me as that almost perfect ex, the one who rarely got angry except when you push me to the wall and the is nothing left for me to do but unleash the crazy Yoruba girl within and  that I only gave about 40% because I cared too much and I wanted you to see my good side.

But now I don't give a hoot, the more I endure this the more I stray  from sanity so please leave me alone. I couldn't care less what you think, your opinion does not matter any more and will not matter in the future.

You called just to say good night.
You didn't you call in the morning or in the afternoon, but since I'm not that important and I'm the last thing on your list, just cross me off and forget I ever exist I'm pretty sure it wont take you that long to do so.

Just leave me alone and stay in the past.

XXXX
L.D

Nine to five.

Raaina walked up the stairs of the supreme court, it was a bright sunny day in the capital city, and every one seemed to be in a rush, she always took her time , taking every step gloriously as if she was paid to do so. Her backside moved with every step she took , one can assume she was doing it for the attention, which is true that was what made her Raaina, she stood out every where she went , her hour glass figure and height made every sane man lust and crave for her attention.
She slowed down her pace as she approached the security desk, she slowly moved her bag from her elbow to her wrist and waited patiently until it was her turn to go through the puffer machine and have her bag checked.
" Good morning madam". The security said waiting for her to open her handbag, the security men knew not to reach for her bag, after one stupidly touched her new Birkin, she did not hesitate to inform how much it cost and how long his family had to work before they can afford one. The other guards took note form their colleagues embarrassment, since then waited for her to open her bag for them to view the contents.
"This your bag fine ooo"! Without waiting for a reply he continued to stare at it.

Thursday, 25 September 2014

Final Year... :)

So the first week of my final year in uni *fingers crossed* is almost at at an end, three hours left. Yay !!!
And it hit me Ruka, you are in final year well hopeful I'm still on probation due to the woeful result of my constitution exam , I mean who fails constitution? Well I do, twice.

I must admit I was going through a lot of unnecessary nonsense, which I have finally decided to put aside as they do not matter, my degree and future is more important that any other thing I had on my mind .

 Apart from getting a part time job to help pay for my Shoes's since Iya Ruka has decided to stop footing the bills of things I do not need and the pocket money I receive is no where near enough.
But we thank God, that's a story for another day.

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

My thoughts.

'" When life hands you lemons make lemonade" is what I've always heard but now I know exactly what it means , life has handed me lemons, but no water, sugar or a pitcher to  make the lemonade so what do I do with the lemons ?

I'm a tight corner with little or no options on what to do, I have to wait a year before I can complete my degree, but right now I'm hoping and praying for a miracle, this is not what I planed, safe to say things do not  always go as planned.

All my life I've left things to the last minute and paid little or no attention to important things, but when I actually decided to be serious and act like a reasonable adult, it all comes crashing down.

In need to stop dreaming and fantasising about the future, or what I'd love to do or the woman I want to be, I spend majority of my time picturing the future than I spend on now and reality. I want to live like a billionaire yet I take things so easy with out concentrating.
Maybe there is something wrong with me?
Why am I like this?
I need change, of everything, change of environment, change of thinking and change of lifestyle.
I need a positive mindset, setting goal and ways of achieving what I want in life, hopping for best and also trying to tackle any obstacle that comes my way.

XXXX
L.D

Monday, 22 September 2014

Goodbye.

I finally summoned the courage and strength I needed to let go, after two and a half years of happiness, love, cheating, tears and now hate. We spent more time apart than we did together, the start was amazing, honeymoon phase was even better then reality set and the real challenge began.
 I remember the time I was too scared to get up to give you a hug, the sight of you made blood rush to my brain so fast, I felt I was going to pass out, from that moment I knew there was no going back, but I'm taking that back.
I'm moving forward without you, it's the best thing to do, loving you has held me back, I made you my priority but to you I was just an option.

Thursday, 4 September 2014

Floating.

I don't know what is wrong with me but the darkness is starting to take over, my thought are driving me insane, I find myself thinking about horrible and bad situations of the worst things things that can happen.

I blame my thoughts on the things that happened when I was growing up, I thought I was past it all but it all still come back to haunt me. I'm not a  bad person but terrible things happened to me which leads me to make bad decisions and right now I really do not know what the f**k is going on, I am constantly paranoid and thinking about death I'm not suicidal or anything but I get thoughts on different types of ways in which I could die.

Monday, 1 September 2014

Lost.

Its 7am I can't sleep the insomnia is back, WTF is wrong with me, I've not stepped out the door for five days been holed up in my house for almost a week not doing anything reasonable well except for catching up on series and stuffing my face.
My routine consists of waking up when ever I want or by a phone call, getting ready brushing, shower and back in bed I go, getting up to get food or to got to the bathroom , I've been doing this for the last three weeks and Its not healthy, I have nothing better to do and I'm not motivated to do anything or I just cant be arsed but which ever one it is it all needs to stop because its driving me nuts.

I feel trapped !!!
I have so many bright ideas.
I wrote so many stories in my head, but I find it hard to put pen to paper or even do a blog post.
I'm lost.
Is this okay ?
Is it normal?
My faith is at an all time low, I can't even cry out to God for help, I just cant be bothered.
I cannot do this any longer.
I need change, something different.

Hope you are all well ? And Happy New Month.

XXXXXX
L.D

Sunday, 17 August 2014

Male Gold diggers?


I was bored out of my head so I decided to check out blogs , from blog stalking I ended up watching Toke Makinwa's vlogs and I don't understand why people diss her she is so funny and most of the the topics she discussed hit home.

One of the videos I watched was on ' Male gold diggers' and I just find it hard that men can rely on females for thing, but that reminded me of a  few encounters I've had .

Thursday, 14 August 2014

Oat Flapjacks.

I'm going to start with something simple and easy. Oat Flapjacks, the ingredients are easy to come across, its easy to make, does not require a lot of stress. I'm not very good at measuring so I go with my instincts and decide on the portion I'm making .

Ingredients:
Honey 
Brown Sugar
Tea spoon of cinnamon
2 tablespoons of dessicated coconut
Oats

Method: 
1) Put butter , sugar , honey and cinnamon in a saucepan stir  until the sugar melts.
2) Add the oats into the mix until the oats are brown.
3) Spread Out the mixture into a baking pan of any shape, smooth-en it with a spatula.
4) Put into an oven pre heated at 180 degrees for 10-15 depending on the amount.
5) It should come out golden brown , allow to cool down and slice as desired.
Enjoy with a glass of milk .
   

Food Glorious Food.

Hey guys so I've been running out of ideas on what to do for the blog personally something I'm good at or enjoy . Apart from writing , reading and fashion another hobby of mine is cooking and eating .

 I love and enjoy cooking, I started cooking at the age of ten been my mums first daughter, she didn't hesitate to put in the kitchen the minute she realized I knew how to cook.

Over the years and plenty pots of over salted and burnt meals I know how to cook most Yoruba meals and that was not enough, so I decided on trying foreign dishes and baking. Most of the time I imagine what I taste when I eat out and put my twist to it.

I'm not a perfect cook but I try my best, so I decided to share my skills with you all starting from simple starters to main course and dessert from Nigerian to foreign meals.

Healthy recipes will also be added to the list, from my diet ideas.

I present to you Rukkie's Kitchen!!!
Hope you all Enjoy it.

XOXOXO
L.D

Tuesday, 12 August 2014

Centre of Unity.

Hey guys sorry I've been away, I was in Abuja doing my intern-ship and I must say it was a great experience learning about the Nigerian legal system .I also got to meet different types of people some not so great, at first I was expecting stuck up people in gowns and wigs but they were all very nice and accommodating.  

Unfortunately I didn't get to attend court as much as I wanted due to NIC been on strike and vacation but I got to do other things, a lot of Corporate Affairs Commission runs registering companies, which I spent most of the time sitting down due to the heat or feeling like prey, while the male predators started and the women shooting nasty glances. And I spent the rest following the barristers around like a loyal pet acting eager to learn and watched them jump queues or plead with civil servants.

Friday, 4 July 2014

Bacteria Vaginosis.

Sometimes I wish my blog was anonymous so I can post personal thing, I think about the things I post and I worry if I post things I shouldn't, I do not know most of my readers but it will be nice for some of you to drop comments. Yes to the aim of the post it to discuss something i've been battling for a while , it started four years ago when  I was 16.

Bacteria Vaginosis a bacteria infection in you know where " the land down under " ,  the first symptom was a fishy smell which was really disgusting and embarrassing, I wasn't sure what it was so  I kept it to myself and just increased the amount of times I washed the 'VAG' not knowing that made it worse. I went to the GP who prescribed drugs and it disappeared within a few days and me been the type of person I am , I stopped using the medication .

Thursday, 3 July 2014

Thoughts on Boko Haram.

I'm tired or all this Boko Haram and sectarian violence nonsense , cant we all just get along but hey who am I kidding, we are human beings the most selfish and cruel creatures on earth. Why kill innocent people all in the name of Religion, is that what God wants? 

Religious extremist are brain washed illiterates who have simply interpreted the contents of the holy books to suit their expectation and to carry out their cruel intentions . 
What are we going to get from bombing, peace talk? Threats? 
But for those who are left life still goes on, yet we hope and pray we don't get caught in the trouble . 
When is this going to stop? No one knows , I feel religious violence is at its peaks, almost every county with a percentage of Muslim citizen either a majority or minority is experiencing it. 

We need to stop and think for a minute . Is this what God wants? 
Will it stop when the government compromise ? But how is that going to be possible , should they ban other religions , should they take every girl out of school and marry them just because some idiots say that what God want . I say Hell no . Don't get me wrong , I am a muslim and I deeply saddened by what is going in the world , I am  not saying it is right. 

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

In Our Midst.


Boom!!! The sound of shattered glass and people screaming rang through his ears like music, he looked around and saw nothing but dust, rubble's and broken pieces of cement on the floor, looking around he saw a lady crouched in foetal position, she looked like she was trying to protect something from getting harmed in the explosion, a large rock dropped from d celling hitting the lady and causing her to roll over.
He noticed a baby covered in blood, the lady had given up her life to shield her baby from harm. He approached the baby, and noticed the baby couldn't be older than six months old, people soon began to regain their consciousness and those who were not alone started to look for their friends and family in in the remains of the building , the baby soon began to cry but no one paid attention to her .

Sunday, 29 June 2014

How Did I Get Here?

Exams results are out and I failed two modules, Company and E.U Law so I'm back to repeat  in August, now I have to drop the line " Ruka doesn't fail " I didn't fail just one but two. How the F*** did that happen?
Looking back at the last academic year and I'm thinking how did  I even pass the rest, I want to succeed but I let myself get distracted by worthless things and people and dreams of a well established future.
How can I build my own empire when I can't concentrate on my goals?
How can I build an empire when I can't pass uni?

Monday, 23 June 2014

My Opinion On Having Children.

I just read a post on Bellanaija by Atoke, titled Its OK not to want kids. I can relate to this post very well , I cannot remember ever wanting children for reason best know to me, well the same reason Oprah decided not to have kids. My friends didn't understand my reasons of not wanting children they simply replied me with " Ruka you must be mad"
" Your mother gave birth to you therefore you also need to have children"
Or the Catholic reply " The bible said go forth and multiply, if we all choose to not the have children then the population of the human race will simply decrease" but these answer did not change my mind.

Saturday, 21 June 2014

Story so far.

Swear the world cup has me feeling some type of way, I really want Ghana to win , they play very well better than Nigeria and they deserve to go far in the tournament. I am Nigerian call me a traitor but theyway we played the last match me might be on the next flight home.
I don't know when I became a football fan , I guess that's what happen when you date some one who lives and breathes footie, I find myself checking up match times, looking up scores online when other are watching the t.v. I scream unnecessarily, my legs start making making moves I simply cannot explain , Football is indeed a beautiful game. This is not a football post, so what if it is ?

Friday, 20 June 2014

IT'S NOT THAT DEEP!

I don’t understand why people take social media personal , like its not that deep, I’ve seen my fair share of internet wars and in my head i’m like what are these people thinking, how can you take on someone you are yet to meet and start insulting them . I know some people are very defensive , saying the wrong thing to them will score you a business class ticket of insults. Like why bother your self. 

Some go as far as creating fake pages to diss , insult or even post rude comments on people pictures. Why in the name of the good Lord called God will you do that? Are you a coward ? You do not have to comment on everything you see , if  persons post is annoying or rude , simply block and unfollow . I have a friend who lives here in Dublin and she created a fake page on instagram to diss a girl who she thinks is dating her friends boyfriend , her friend lives in London and the other girl in the States.

I was shocked when she gave me the gist, “ Ruka if you see what we did to this girl , we insulted her life , called her a slut and all” I nodded my head throughout the entire conversation and was embarrassed for my friend.
Have you ever created a fake page to diss someone ?
Have you ever posted a rude comment on someones page ?

Has someone ever posted a rude comment on you page?

Thursday, 19 June 2014

Chrome Book Review.

Finally got a new laptop, actually its called  chromebook, after thirty minutes of walking around, I opted for a chrome book Acer C720.
 Its very light, easy to carry and can  fit into most of my handbags, I don't have to worry about carrying a separate bag to college , with a 11'6 inch screen it is compact. The chromebook is a goggle product, does not work with Microsoft but has its own app market, built in anti virus and its own version of Microsoft Word, power point excel and the whole gang, which is already installed in the computer so you do not have to worry about paying for them. The keypad is small but its manageable.

Part One: Ayomide Akanni



While his peers were busy dancing to skelewu or some new dance craze created by an artiste high on weed or the latest overpriced brand of alcohol that just hit the shelves, Ayo practiced his speech in the mirror , it was not any type of speech , he needed to tell his father he was leaving his position as managing director of the insurance company that his family had controlled for the last two generations. His grandfather started the company half a century ago, a few years after he moved to Lagos from Ile-Ife a small part of Osun state in the west of Nigeria .

Friday, 6 June 2014

Letter to my lover.



Hey mister,
The first time I met you I felt nothing, I slept with you not because I wanted to but because I thought it was what you wanted or it was what I was good for . But then you treated me differently , you made love  me and it was beautiful . I didnt start feeling anything till the 6th time we met, then I started craving for your attention .

I started loving you and eventually I was in love with you. I was a lost soul , but  without knowing you helped me in discovering myself, you are more than a just a boyfriend , you are like the brother I never had, a mentor, even though we are both two different people.

I know I was stupid having something do with someone else not because I wanted to but because that shallow little girl was still there , and it broke my heart that I hurt and il do anything to make it right . In the last two years u have made me stronger, more intelligent and helped me start up that strong woman I need to be to have a succesful future .

When things ended I felt betrayed not because you didn't want me but because I thought it was going go last forever and  I wanted to make you proud , I didn't know what do without you but i learned to breathe . Tbh in the last 9 months not a day goes by without the thought of you. 
               From , 
                 The girl you stole her heart.

Still blogging with my phone, sorry for the inconvenience. 

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

R.I.P.

The laptop had finally packed up , well for now , its been three years of semi loyalty from you and I will miss you dearly . So my lovely readers I will not be able to blog properly till Iya Ruka Aka my mummy decides to buy me a new one, my iphone is the only peice of technology I have. And to stop myself from going fully insane, I'm taking a visit to my bookshelf to start re-reading my old books starting with twilight. And as for the weight loss its fantastic , I just finished a bowl of fried eggs and plaintain, * please don't judge me and I won't judge you* , fighting the urge is hard , bt I kick ass in the gym though.
Until next time . 

Sunday, 1 June 2014

Insomnia.

                  

Its 3:30 and I can' t sleep, my insomnia is back , for those who do not know insomnia is a sleep disorder where one has the inability to sleep or not been able to sleep as desired. I love my beauty sleep and I find it hard to function when I don't get at least six hours sleep at night and this is just killing me. Insomnia also has it health risks.
                                                       

Saturday, 31 May 2014

Weight Loss


Guess who finally joined the gym? I finally plucked up the courage to renew my gym membership after two year of giving up. Today went pretty well, I worked out for almost two hours on the treadmill, bicycle and other equipment I don't know the names of. I also did squats lifting 10kg weights. I got motivated to go back to the gym after looking at pictures from a friends birthday party and Lord did my belly stick out of my dress, right now I am at my biggest and I feel my body is starting to affect my self esteem so its time to bring sexy back .

Monday, 26 May 2014

Home Far Away.

Happy new week guy! While I was wide awake last night battling my insomnia, I got an idea to start a weekly series of short stories and developing the plot weekly. I started writing on my phone and I hope to have the first part out before the end of the week with the title Home Far Away for now. Writing is something I love and I wanted it to be full time career growing up, but somewhere down the line I got distracted by friends, school and boys, at some point I wanted to drop out of school to start writing full time but I convinced myself I have all the time in the world doing it. I wrote a children book when I was fourteen but the computer had issues so we had to wipe the system. This new series will help me develop my writing skills and start reliving my dream as a kid. I hope it really works out since I quit easily, this is going to be a big challenge for me.

Relationship.

Mojoyin loves Emeka but she feels he doesn't  love or care about her the way she did him , she wonders if he had another woman that got his attention . She gave up so much for him , a future with a man who will make her feel like a princess every morning. She wondered why she choose him, a man who rarely replies her text message, who doesn't say I love you ! Or I miss you ! If she doesn't say it first , she always makes plan to see him and he never asks to see her , his excuse is that he has been in a previous relationship based on constant calling and questioning the whereabouts of his partner and that did not end well so he doesn't want this to end up that way . 
Do people lose interest when they know they have your attention or is there something unhealthy about this relationship .
The relationship was not always like this , he was a caring and fun guy , who called regularly to check up on her , but somewhere down the line something went wrong and its never been the same . 
She is scared to call it off because he keep her going , and motivates her in a weird way. What should she do?

Sorry I typed this out on my phone, the laptop is acting up and i'm guessing its time to buy a new one but since i can't afford one , we shall rely on my phone for now .

Monday, 19 May 2014

New Beginnings.

Hi guys I’m back and hopefully for good this time, I find it very hard to continue blogging but since school is over for me till September I might as well give it another shot. Honestly I do not know why I created a blog in the first place, but it does sound nice calling yourself a blogger.
I am Rukayat Omobola Owolabi and I am a blogger! Sounds cool enough don’t you think?
Fresh out of College with a degree, well almost, I have to re-sit my company law exam after I blanked out in the exam hall, effing painful but hey it happens. I cannot graduate with a 2:1 because I messed, so I have to settle for what I get because it’s what I deserve , but I shall work my ass of next year to complete my degree.
I have four months off for the summer , and it looks like a lifetime, but this summer I’ve decided to change and make a list of what to do before the end of summer, so here it is;
·       Blog more often.
·       Improve my grammar.
·       Start a weight loss journey (Lose 15kgs, I weight 90kgs atm and the curves are starting to disappear, that is so not sexy )
·       Learn more French.
·       Continue the natural hair journey.
·       Pass company law.
·       Get a job ( my mum is already complaining about me not having a job, don’t blame her, I can cripple a person’s bank account)

That is all I can think of for now and there is a new driver on the road. Beep!! Beep!!! And a big Thank You to Thelma Thinks for mentioning me on her blog. 

Saturday, 15 February 2014

Confessions of An Unemployed Law Student. ( It goes on)

Hi guys, how have u all been? I've been MIA for a while but swear I have a good reason. Been dealing with a lot from lost assignments to personal issues, where do I start?
Lost assignments; I had an assignment typed and saved but it somehow disappeared from my laptop, I  an hour before submission was over  because I was bored and something told me to go through my files. I taught it was a sick joke, after ten minutes of crying and a few punches to my screen I realized it was gone. I managed to find bits and pieces on my laptop and ended up submitting that, as that was the best thing to do, the assignment is worth 30%. I emailed the lecturer and she was very understanding. Another assignment also went missing I’m just going to play dumb till the lecturer contacts me.

Saturday, 1 February 2014

Asake.

This was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. My wedding ceremony was not how I’d always imagined; it was rushed and happened so fast it seems like a dream.
‘Are you ready?’ a voice asked from the bathroom. The sound of his voice sends shivers down my spine; I don’t why know he scares me.
‘Yes’ I answered.
My sister told me everything I needed to know about what was going to happen. I took of my night dress and waited in my knickers.
Standing behind me, he started cupping my breast in his hands, I stay still as I watched his movement in the mirror, and I freeze as my body starts to respond to his touch.
He proceeds to undress himself; I close my eyes as he pulled off his boxers. Mother had always made us close our eyes when father took his clothes off back in the family house.
‘Lay down ‘his  whispered as his eyes moved to the bed, his voice calm yet scary. I did as I was told.
Minutes, groans, moans and tears after, my husband collapsed beside me.
                                             *************************
Four months ago he walked into the compound with his father asking for a young and untouched girl. Father mentioned my sister but he refused. My older sister Asake was married, but not for long, she came back home after a year with a broken arm and a scar on her cheek.
To the suitor she was considered 'tainted milk'. Her husband had chased her for defying him and being rude. My once jolly and playful sister came back home a shadow of her old self she spent her days in the room we shared weeping uncontrollably for weeks, to her, her life and beauty was ruined permanently. She hated her ex mother in-law and never stopped calling her an ugly old witch blaming her for the collapse of her marriage; secretly I always suspected Asake's care fee attitude and sharp mouth contributed a large part of her being chased out of Alade’s house.
I never mentioned this to her though, with Asake you always had to agree and support her views. She grew bitter and bitter with each passing day.
She vehemently protested when mother informed her of my wedding preparations, she sulked for days and refused to come out of our room to celebrate my birthday with the family. How often does her only sister turn fourteen?
The day before the ceremony, she came into the room to help me pack my bags. ‘Bolanle always do as you are told, it makes things easier, sho tigbo?’ she advised. Asake is not the type of person to advice some else, all she cared about was herself; I guess marriage does change people.
She told me things mother failed to mention about marriage, including sex. That explains the noises that came from mothers and father when they thought we were asleep. We laughed as she mimicked the noises; I wonder what Asake sounded like when she and her husband did it or what I would sound like.
                                                       *************************
‘You are sweet ‘Tunde said as he parted my legs, to get in position, I felt a sharp sting as he started to thrust, oh the pain! Tears filled my eyes as I felt my insides being ripped apart with each thrust, Asake didn’t say it was going to be painful.
Waking up the next morning and he was fast asleep beside me. Wrapper barely covering his buttocks. I could still feel a dull ache between my thighs. Ignored the pain and got up to go and prepare his breakfast...no matter how painful last night was. I plan to do everything he says, if it means going through this pain every night for the rest of my life.

 I don’t want to end up, battered, bruised and lonely like Asake.

Sorry I've been away and i hope this makes up for my absence. 

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Men............................

I don't even know what to call this post I’m just going to rant. Men like to take the piss like oh my God. So I've been talking to this guy, I know i'm  not meant to, but there is intentions for anything. He is Irish and creepy must I say the guy uses every opportunity to ask for a picture and relate it back to sex; he is so sneaky he does it in such a nice way you won’t realize he is doing it.
You can’t be telling me I look sexy every minute, that is why I have mirrors He is also in a relationship for over a year, yet he makes sexually advances towards me, like who does that.
 Me been me I would just laugh at everything then ignore you afterwards. He went asking me to coffee to inviting me over to his so I can model I quote “my sexy African body" I watch too much criminal minds and Dexter to follow for guy to his house abeg. Next thing I know I’m buried in some bush, or cut up in a freezer somewhere. No thanks I’m my mother’s first born and i'l  like to stay that way for a very long time.
I just don’t get why men are not satisfied, if u want to mess around stay single and no one will question you. Don’t be getting some poor girls hopes up, and be telling another girl you like big butts and thighs. So effing disrespectful. 
OK I’m done.
Hope you are all having a good week so far? It Tuesday, it gets better. 


Saturday, 25 January 2014

Sex Offenders.

I am still trying to understand what these people DNA  is made off , what prompts a person and sexually attracts an adult to a minor. It is simply disgusting and degrading to society, every day there is always an article on a sex offender or pedophile to be precise.
According to the dictionary a pedophile is someone sexually attracted to children.  I just do not understand how messed up a persons mind can be, of all the population of the opposite out there, some sick pervert goes for children.
'A nineteen year old British man in the UK was sentenced to 18 years imprisonment for 49 sexual assaults on 13 teenage boys who he groomed with bribes and threats' Christopher Mancini, 19, of Hurstpierpoint
 WTF is wrong with the world ?
How can a young man decide he wants to molest young boys, for reasons like this I understand why some countries criminalized homosexuality. How psychotic can one simply get?
As i law student I've had my fair share of cases like this but I am still amazed on the horrors that goes on in society.
What happens when the boys who were assaulted by the sexual predators become the men of their past, the monsters that had robbed them of their innocence. It has been going on for years and shall continue to occur , its a bad egg that can be thrown out. It is a bad an disgusting habit that is buried deep in our society.
Sex offenders have a rough time in prison, I remember watching a documentary by Louis Theroux , A Place For Pedophiles, they were segregated and put into a rehabilitation center with other offenders.
Is it right to put these people together?    

Friday, 24 January 2014

Confessions of An Unemployed Law Student.

Hi guys! Happy Friday!
Hope you have all had a wonderful week and are looking forward to partying over the weekend. Life has been good so far I guess, school and assignments. 
I also started driving. Yay!! I've had my license for more than two years but I had no reason to drive, I’m yet to get to a car so I’m just using my mums. It’s actually not that bad, I’m still a bit scared but I guess it’s the norm for new drivers.

Thursday, 16 January 2014

Confessions of An Unemployed Law Student

Hi guys! 
Hope you are all good, this has been a stressful week; I finally submitted two company law assignments that the lecturer gave the class since September and I feel a heavy weight off my shoulders. Two assignments down, seven more to go. I ditched a four hour lecture because I didn't feel like going , how lazy can one get. The prayer room in my school makes praying easy, I don't have to do it all when I get home. Suits makes been a barrister so cool , walking around a company in heels like you own the world and winning cases everyday and in reality I find it hard to get an internship.

Monday, 13 January 2014

Confessions Of An Unemployed Law Student.

Hi guys! It’s had been a while, I've been busy working on assignments and short stories for the blog; I am still new to this and also trying to figure out things and the settings of the blog. School has been hectic , I've got to much assignments to hand in , two on Wednesday which I’m not half way done with all thinks to Dexter 'great show by the way if you are into serial killers , a lot of blood though ' .

Saturday, 11 January 2014

New Beginnings .


11/01/2014 Ruqkayah started praying again. I started praying this morning, I slept late but I made sure I was up for Fajr, the water was so cold but I was determined. Last time I prayed was 2-3 months ago, I don't have a reason for stopping but I always do, I found it easier to pray because  wanted to and not because I needed to.

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Fear.

It’s almost two months since I got robbed, around the corner from my house with a knife held to my neck, to be honest it’s not a great experience for a person to go through. I've lived in fear ever since, every time I walk home , I look back after taking a step, every time I notice a male with his hood up , my pulse races.

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Mothers Do Not Get Enough Respect !

So a few days ago I saw a video on YouTube where a boy hits his mother, insults her, pulls her wig off in a public supermarket .The mother simply retaliates by beating him and cursing at him, while this was happening, another child who looks older than the boy, watched and played with her wig.

The Morning After .

This must be what death feels like. My head hurts as blurred images of last night began to fill my head. I had way too much to drink, all in the name of my best friend’s 21st birthday party. It was also meant to be my anniversary with my boyfriend Mo, well ex now, the so called love of my life. I got dumped! Yes I said it I got dumped. I really don't blame him, guess he finally got tired of my lifestyle, I give him some credit though, spending two years with a girl and not getting some is no joke. 

Sunday, 5 January 2014

Happy New Year

Hi guys , so its been a while . I had some personal drama to deal with and while i was away i got some ideas on what to do for the year . First i decided on a permanent name for my blog Literal Diva , i will feature short stories written by myself and maybe other writers . I will put up videos , have discussions about all different kinds of things , i make a list of what i will like to achieve this year and i will share with you all .

Happy New Year everyone , hope the new year brings us joy , happiness ,wealth and health .

Try the plus size section .


"Excuse me , do you have this in a UK 14 ?" i asked a staff in the forever 21 store . She paused looking at me form head to toe . "I'm sorry we do not , but you can try the plus size section" she replied and walked away . I looked around to see if any one had witnessed my embarrassment, fortunately not , i wanted to disappear into thin air . "She just called me fat " i said to an invisible audience . This feels like a scene from mean girls when Regina George ate too much of the kalteen bars and couldn't fit into her prom dress. I'm only a size 14 , well i convinced myself i was . I blamed the fabric every time trousers stopped half way up my thighs in the changing room  . "There is has to be something wrong with the tagging " i always said to comfort my self.
Plus size section ! Am i that big ? I took another look at my self in the mirror , I started a diet plan in my head chicken , lots of protein , soy milk , no carbs , no sweets , fruits , nuts and exercise . I should be able to drop a jean size if i stuck with it this time .
"Who am i kidding " i said to  my tub of Hagen Daz strawberries and cream ice cream tub . "I am Sexy " " I will lose weight when i'm successful.