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MY MOOD RIGHT NOW

I think I'm slowly falling into depression, but then I don't want to call it depression if I'm having a few rough nights. It will be a slap in the face to those who suffer from it.
But how do I explain sleepless nights, terrible mood swings and constantly over thinking and feeling like I'm failing in life. The constant need to quit my job even though i can't afford to go without a job. It's easy when you see it in movies where a person just give a huge fuck off to their job , walk away without looking back. I didn't really think of the effect the job is having on me , sitting all day, staring at a computer screen with not enough shit to keep my brain active. But hey the things we do for survival, I get angry at myself and blame myself a lot for not working harder at a younger age and taking necessary steps to secure the so called bag. Now I'm stuck at a job I dislike and I'm still not over the rejection from the last time I applied for jobs I'm scared to apply for others because I dnt think I can't bare the rejection. So its earlier to sit In shallow water waiting to be reduced instead of finding my way deeper into the ocean where there is a huge risk but also a huge chance to be spotted. I feel I'm going to snap and have a huge breakdown soon, I dnt know if it will happen or how il handle it if/when it does but I'm not myself and I'm worried.

XXXX
L.D

Comments

  1. GazzaTuesday, July 23, 2019

    I guess this happens a lot, almost everybody experiences this, they just don't talk about it much, there comes a point in life when you feel like you should be doing better than what you are currently doing. It's life, i guess it's part of the plan for those who are ambitious. It's a phase, hang in there!

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  2. AnonymousTuesday, October 15, 2019

    You know what 3yrs ago I was having this same feeling I just couldn't take it anymore , I felt like I was trapped in fact i was loosing my mind, made up my mind and walked out on my job a dumb ass decision, taught I was doing the right thing but I was wrong. Still searching for a new job now but all I get is rejection something to do with age. Try to find solace away from your boring job or pick up a side hustle , do anything that will make you happy and never rush into making decisions trust me I know. By the way nice blog��

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    Replies
    1. RuqkayahTuesday, November 12, 2019

      Thank you for your lovely comment. Unfortunately I handed in my notice and I have two weeks left at my current job. No new job lined up but I'm very hopeful for something in the new year. Would love to have a side hustle but this job is driving me nuts, i'm not learning anything or growing in anyway. I hope you find a new job soon and do keep me posted when you do.
      Thanks once again , I get very happy when I see positive comments on my blog.

      Delete

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