11/01/2014 Ruqkayah started praying again. I started praying this morning, I slept late but I made sure I was up for Fajr, the water was so cold but I was determined. Last time I prayed was 2-3 months ago, I don't have a reason for stopping but I always do, I found it easier to pray because wanted to and not because I needed to.Born a Muslim but I never really understood the blessing till I was 17, years before this I always avoided going to the mosque, to be honest I was ashamed of the Muslim and I felt Islam puts such a huge burden on people. My view started to change as I got older; I stopped listening to what people had to say and started doing my own research. I started Salat when I was 17 but this only lasted for a week , I was overwhelmed by the pressure of having to pray 5 times a day , having to do an ablution which was terrible in the winter when the water was not hot, having to wake up from my precious sleep for the first prayer of the day. I stopped praying but continued my research to educate me on Islam, my personal findings from the Hadith's were better than having to listen to a Cleric (I am not saying they are wrong). Three years since I started praying , I'm back at it again hopefully for good this time, I gave up so many times , but it feels good to have the weight lifted off when I finish my prayers for the day and much more better when they are on time. I do not live my life according to Sunnah (clear and well trodden path) but I am taking it one step at a time, not to overwhelm myself.
I though I should share the start of my journey with you all.