Literal Diva

Dear God, I know I am far from perfect and most of the times I am not very ladylike, I know you watch my every move and you expect so much more than I give. The world is a very messy place to live these days and surviving takes a lot more than hoping for the best. I didn't pray yesterday because it was a long hectic day, I also didn't pray today because I woke up hours after fajr and the water was just too cold.

Hi Guys, I've been busy in the last two weeks, but I hope every one is fine. I got an answer from the school , so I have to repeat constitutional law, the assignments and exams, I was shocked but got over it pretty quickly as they say everything happens for a reason. For now I'm job hunting, droppings CV's as if my life depends on it, Ruk's needs a job badly and terribly, I have all the time now so I might as well make the most of it and make some money too. I don't know why I cant get a job , I'm pretty much frustrated at this point but I'm not going to give up, even dropping CV's at stores that I know would not hire me, because I know I do not fit the criteria of their staff. I walked into  Michael Kors to drop a CV and was embarrassed the minute I walked in, the girls working there were tall and model like, so there I was, 5'1 size 14. I looked so lost in the store, one of the sales assistant noticed I had a CV, therefore I couldn't wa...

Every time you call I want to scream at you, tell you leave me alone because I'm tired of your BS and selfishness but I don't because I want you to remember me as that almost perfect ex, the one who rarely got angry except when you push me to the wall and the is nothing left for me to do but unleash the crazy Yoruba girl within and  that I only gave about 40% because I cared too much and I wanted you to see my good side. But now I don't give a hoot, the more I endure this the more I stray  from sanity so please leave me alone. I couldn't care less what you think, your opinion does not matter any more and will not matter in the future. You called just to say good night. You didn't you call in the morning or in the afternoon, but since I'm not that important and I'm the last thing on your list, just cross me off and forget I ever exist I'm pretty sure it wont take you that long to do so. Just leave me alone and stay in the past. XXXX L.D

Raaina walked up the stairs of the supreme court, it was a bright sunny day in the capital city, and every one seemed to be in a rush, she always took her time , taking every step gloriously as if she was paid to do so. Her backside moved with every step she took , one can assume she was doing it for the attention, which is true that was what made her Raaina, she stood out every where she went , her hour glass figure and height made every sane man lust and crave for her attention. She slowed down her pace as she approached the security desk, she slowly moved her bag from her elbow to her wrist and waited patiently until it was her turn to go through the puffer machine and have her bag checked. " Good morning madam". The security said waiting for her to open her handbag, the security men knew not to reach for her bag, after one stupidly touched her new Birkin, she did not hesitate to inform how much it cost and how long his family had to work before they can afford one....

So the first week of my final year in uni *fingers crossed* is almost at at an end, three hours left. Yay !!! And it hit me Ruka, you are in final year well hopeful I'm still on probation due to the woeful result of my constitution exam , I mean who fails constitution? Well I do, twice. I must admit I was going through a lot of unnecessary nonsense, which I have finally decided to put aside as they do not matter, my degree and future is more important that any other thing I had on my mind .  Apart from getting a part time job to help pay for my Shoes's since Iya Ruka has decided to stop footing the bills of things I do not need and the pocket money I receive is no where near enough. But we thank God, that's a story for another day.

'" When life hands you lemons make lemonade" is what I've always heard but now I know exactly what it means , life has handed me lemons, but no water, sugar or a pitcher to  make the lemonade so what do I do with the lemons ? I'm a tight corner with little or no options on what to do, I have to wait a year before I can complete my degree, but right now I'm hoping and praying for a miracle, this is not what I planed, safe to say things do not  always go as planned. All my life I've left things to the last minute and paid little or no attention to important things, but when I actually decided to be serious and act like a reasonable adult, it all comes crashing down. In need to stop dreaming and fantasising about the future, or what I'd love to do or the woman I want to be, I spend majority of my time picturing the future than I spend on now and reality. I want to live like a billionaire yet I take things so easy with out concentrating. Maybe there...

I finally summoned the courage and strength I needed to let go, after two and a half years of happiness, love, cheating, tears and now hate. We spent more time apart than we did together, the start was amazing, honeymoon phase was even better then reality set and the real challenge began.  I remember the time I was too scared to get up to give you a hug, the sight of you made blood rush to my brain so fast, I felt I was going to pass out, from that moment I knew there was no going back, but I'm taking that back. I'm moving forward without you, it's the best thing to do, loving you has held me back, I made you my priority but to you I was just an option.

I don't know what is wrong with me but the darkness is starting to take over, my thought are driving me insane, I find myself thinking about horrible and bad situations of the worst things things that can happen. I blame my thoughts on the things that happened when I was growing up, I thought I was past it all but it all still come back to haunt me. I'm not a  bad person but terrible things happened to me which leads me to make bad decisions and right now I really do not know what the f**k is going on, I am constantly paranoid and thinking about death I'm not suicidal or anything but I get thoughts on different types of ways in which I could die.

Its 7am I can't sleep the insomnia is back, WTF is wrong with me, I've not stepped out the door for five days been holed up in my house for almost a week not doing anything reasonable well except for catching up on series and stuffing my face. My routine consists of waking up when ever I want or by a phone call, getting ready brushing, shower and back in bed I go, getting up to get food or to got to the bathroom , I've been doing this for the last three weeks and Its not healthy, I have nothing better to do and I'm not motivated to do anything or I just cant be arsed but which ever one it is it all needs to stop because its driving me nuts. I feel trapped !!! I have so many bright ideas. I wrote so many stories in my head, but I find it hard to put pen to paper or even do a blog post. I'm lost. Is this okay ? Is it normal? My faith is at an all time low, I can't even cry out to God for help, I just cant be bothered. I cannot do this any longer. I need...

I was bored out of my head so I decided to check out blogs , from blog stalking I ended up watching Toke Makinwa's vlogs and I don't understand why people diss her she is so funny and most of the the topics she discussed hit home. One of the videos I watched was on ' Male gold diggers' and I just find it hard that men can rely on females for thing, but that reminded me of a  few encounters I've had .

Hey guys so I've been running out of ideas on what to do for the blog personally something I'm good at or enjoy . Apart from writing , reading and fashion another hobby of mine is cooking and eating .  I love and enjoy cooking, I started cooking at the age of ten been my mums first daughter, she didn't hesitate to put in the kitchen the minute she realized I knew how to cook. Over the years and plenty pots of over salted and burnt meals I know how to cook most Yoruba meals and that was not enough, so I decided on trying foreign dishes and baking. Most of the time I imagine what I taste when I eat out and put my twist to it. I'm not a perfect cook but I try my best, so I decided to share my skills with you all starting from simple starters to main course and dessert from Nigerian to foreign meals. Healthy recipes will also be added to the list, from my diet ideas. I present to you Rukkie's Kitchen!!! Hope you all Enjoy it. XOXOXO L.D

Hey guys sorry I've been away, I was in Abuja doing my intern-ship and I must say it was a great experience learning about the Nigerian legal system .I also got to meet different types of people some not so great, at first I was expecting stuck up people in gowns and wigs but they were all very nice and accommodating.   Unfortunately I didn't get to attend court as much as I wanted due to NIC been on strike and vacation but I got to do other things, a lot of Corporate Affairs Commission runs registering companies, which I spent most of the time sitting down due to the heat or feeling like prey, while the male predators started and the women shooting nasty glances. And I spent the rest following the barristers around like a loyal pet acting eager to learn and watched them jump queues or plead with civil servants.

Sometimes I wish my blog was anonymous so I can post personal thing, I think about the things I post and I worry if I post things I shouldn't, I do not know most of my readers but it will be nice for some of you to drop comments. Yes to the aim of the post it to discuss something i've been battling for a while , it started four years ago when  I was 16. Bacteria Vaginosis a bacteria infection in you know where " the land down under " ,  the first symptom was a fishy smell which was really disgusting and embarrassing, I wasn't sure what it was so  I kept it to myself and just increased the amount of times I washed the 'VAG' not knowing that made it worse. I went to the GP who prescribed drugs and it disappeared within a few days and me been the type of person I am , I stopped using the medication .

I'm tired or all this Boko Haram and sectarian violence nonsense , cant we all just get along but hey who am I kidding, we are human beings the most selfish and cruel creatures on earth. Why kill innocent people all in the name of Religion, is that what God wants?  Religious extremist are brain washed illiterates who have simply interpreted the contents of the holy books to suit their expectation and to carry out their cruel intentions .  What are we going to get from bombing, peace talk? Threats?  But for those who are left life still goes on, yet we hope and pray we don't get caught in the trouble .  When is this going to stop? No one knows , I feel religious violence is at its peaks, almost every county with a percentage of Muslim citizen either a majority or minority is experiencing it.  We need to stop and think for a minute . Is this what God wants?  Will it stop when the government compromise ? But how is that going to be possible , ...

Boom!!! The sound of shattered glass and people screaming rang through his ears like music, he looked around and saw nothing but dust, rubble's and broken pieces of cement on the floor, looking around he saw a lady crouched in foetal position, she looked like she was trying to protect something from getting harmed in the explosion, a large rock dropped from d celling hitting the lady and causing her to roll over. He noticed a baby covered in blood, the l ady had given up her life to shield her baby from harm. He approached the baby, and noticed the baby couldn't be older than six months old, people soon began to regain their consciousness and those who were not alone started to look for their friends and family in in the remains of the building , the baby soon began to cry but no one paid attention to her .

Exams results are out and I failed two modules, Company and E.U Law so I'm back to repeat  in August, now I have to drop the line " Ruka doesn't fail " I didn't fail just one but two. How the F*** did that happen? Looking back at the last academic year and I'm thinking how did  I even pass the rest, I want to succeed but I let myself get distracted by worthless things and people and dreams of a well established future. How can I build my own empire when I can't concentrate on my goals? How can I build an empire when I can't pass uni?

I just read a post on Bellanaija by Atoke, titled Its OK not to want kids. I can relate to this post very well , I cannot remember ever wanting children for reason best know to me, well the same reason Oprah decided not to have kids. My friends didn't understand my reasons of not wanting children they simply replied me with " Ruka you must be mad" " Your mother gave birth to you therefore you also need to have children" Or the Catholic reply " The bible said go forth and multiply, if we all choose to not the have children then the population of the human race will simply decrease" but these answer did not change my mind.

Swear the world cup has me feeling some type of way, I really want Ghana to win , they play very well better than Nigeria and they deserve to go far in the tournament. I am Nigerian call me a traitor but theyway we played the last match me might be on the next flight home. I don't know when I became a football fan , I guess that's what happen when you date some one who lives and breathes footie, I find myself checking up match times, looking up scores online when other are watching the t.v. I scream unnecessarily, my legs start making making moves I simply cannot explain , Football is indeed a beautiful game. This is not a football post, so what if it is ?

I don’t understand why people take social media personal , like its not that deep, I’ve seen my fair share of internet wars and in my head i’m like what are these people thinking, how can you take on someone you are yet to meet and start insulting them . I know some people are very defensive , saying the wrong thing to them will score you a business class ticket of insults. Like why bother your self.  Some go as far as creating fake pages to diss , insult or even post rude comments on people pictures. Why in the name of the good Lord called God will you do that? Are you a coward ? You do not have to comment on everything you see , if  persons post is annoying or rude , simply block and unfollow . I have a friend who lives here in Dublin and she created a fake page on instagram to diss a girl who she thinks is dating her friends boyfriend , her friend lives in London and the other girl in the States. I was shocked when she gave me the gist, “ Ruka if you see what we d...

Finally got a new laptop, actually its called  chromebook, after thirty minutes of walking around, I opted for a chrome book Acer C720.  Its very light, easy to carry and can  fit into most of my handbags, I don't have to worry about carrying a separate bag to college , with a 11'6 inch screen it is compact. The chromebook is a goggle product, does not work with Microsoft but has its own app market, built in anti virus and its own version of Microsoft Word, power point excel and the whole gang, which is already installed in the computer so you do not have to worry about paying for them. The keypad is small but its manageable.