RAMEN IS NOT FOR ME.

Do not believe what you see on the internet... Fighting for my life as type this, by fighting for my life, I mean my stomach and mouth are on fire.

My nose is running and I'm screaming for pain.

Why ????????????????

Two nights ago I saw a tweet where someone was hyping how delicious Ramen is and how it is way better than Indomine.

Curiosity killed the cat they said, well I am a 94kg, 5'2 26 years old cat in human form.

I jumped on Amazon, checked out a few brands, picked one, during my quest of finding the one with the cheapest shipping, I accidentally subscribed for Prime... Oops

Paid for my order and jumped on YouTube, I needed to find the right method for cooking Ramen.

I found the brand I purchased, noticed the sauce looked very red.

RED FLAG !!!

Can't taste that bad.

Sunday 3:55 pm. Message from Amazon, your package is delivered, nice and fast. Jeff Bezos, I thank you o.

5:35, I'm mixing my boiled Ramen with the sauce opted for half of the sachet, took a forkful, taste good, rushed another one the spice hit my stomach and my tongue are on fire.

What is this punishment?

Ran to the fridge and grabbed a can of Maltina to calm the violence, still hurts. Can of Malt empty, ate another fork of full for good luck being the scapegoat I am.

Gave up after the third bite. Ramen is not for me.

Verdict: Delicious but spicy as hell. Do not try if you have an ulcer, indigestion issues or simply cannot stand spicy food.

If you are a stubborn goat who likes spicy food, go ahead and order, 5 in a pack for £6.80.

I will stick to my Indomine.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Samyang-Dried-Noodle-Buldak-Noodles/dp/B00GE1XKHY/ref=sr_1_4?crid=3DNTWJ4UBRNKC&dchild=1&keywords=ramen&qid=1606067612&s=grocery&sprefix=ra%2Cgrocery%2C158&sr=1-4

Comments

The Act of Indecent Dressing.

I've always wondered how women can walk around looking almost naked yet feeling comfortable with it. I've never been one for going out with skimpy clothes, I do have some skirts and dresses that are above the knees, but they stay unworn in the back of the wardrobe, I wore a very questionable leather peplum to the beach and I felt very uncomfortable, had to pull it down ever time I stood up , and when It was my turn to go get drinks my brothers friend took a look at me and told me to sit down. I was embarrassed, but I turned a lot of heads, when we switched locations to Waterside I had a guy wait for me outside the toilet since he couldn't approach me in from of the two intimidating men I was with. He offered to take me out clubbing and I blamed it on the skirt because I was dressed like I belonged in a club.

I PICKED UP THE HIJAB

I'm slowly transitioning from a cleavage bearing, alcohol sipping Muslim woman to a full-time hijabi. Where do I start from? I've always wanted to be a hijabi but I didn't have the courage to do it, I admired Muslim women in their scarves and hijab, I gave it a go in Uni, tied a turban for a few weeks and I got bored and ditched it. Told myself I will pick it up when I get married, I still need enough time to flaunt my locs, bare my chest and wear dresses with slits going above my knees. I enjoyed sipping cocktails, drinking champagne and mostly Jack Daniels and coke, I quit alcohol a few times, the longest I went without alcohol was 12 months. I'm not an alcoholic, I go months without drinking on the regs,. especially when I'm in Dublin, but I need booze to survive in Lagos. A few shots once I get home from the airport, then Star Radler or Snapp before noon, this continues until I leave the city. My motto was " I can't be sober in Lagos".

ESCAPE

"God will punish you', I shouted as I tried to chase the man who robbed me" "E no go better for you ', I am fighting a battle I know I’m not going to win, but I hate being cheated, I settled on the train tracks to catch my breath, a few minutes before the train passes. A small crowd gathered the nosy bastards who have nothing better to do on a Monday morning, I look up from after a few minutes, I have no choice, a pair of over-bleached feet appeared beside me. The sight of someone's skin bearing a striking resemblance to over roasted plantain nearly made me regurgitate the contents of my stomach. "How far now? she asked putting her hands on my waist.

Literal Diva

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