FINDING MR RIGHT

 Hi guys, 

Back again!

I don't have the energy for blogging these days, but here is a quick update on my life. My relationship of four years ended over the summer, I am somewhat glad it ended but also sad because he was the love of life, well until I meet the next guy. 

I've been single for almost five months and I can say I am not heartbroken or into the ex so I have no problem moving on and getting into it with another man. Operation finding "Mr Right".

Every guy I talk or get close to remind me of why I stayed in my previous relationship even though it was tough and I was unhappy at times, it was easier to stay knowing his flaws and shortcomings while hoping and praying for better. 

I've talked to a few guys in the last few months, liked and unliked a few, my crush only lasts for two weeks and I'm onto the next one. Will give a quick rundown on three of them. 

Mr V aka Mr Godforbid: I got into it with him almost immediately after the relationship ended, it was easy to carry over all the emotions left over from the last guy and throw them at the next available guy. This is exactly what I did. This guy was in my Dm a few times, had a nice conversation with him a couple of times and I started ignoring him when I noticed he wanted more. 

Fast forward to when the relationship ended, he was there for moral support, played the role of Mr Nice Guy, said the right things at the right time. It was fun and cute, then I started noticing a few issues. He hated almost everything to do with Feminism, which I wasn't interested in at the time.

 I am now, a story for another day. Proud Feminist.

He also made sex sound like a boring chore, so many things he didn't like and was not open to trying, hence the title Mr Godforbid. Small chocking, God forbid.

The guy was big on tradition, gender roles and submission. He backed up every single one of these with a bible verse. The last straw was when I criticized two pastors, he is a very strong Christian and felt elderly men of God can never be wrong and therefore should not be questioned or criticized. Everything went downhill from here, I wasn't interested in making it work. He also made a few statements I found very insulting to women. 

Dude is good looking, nice to a fault but manipulate and toxic in a weird way.

Mr I want to Marry You: started talking to this guy last year because I had a few questions to ask career-wise so I slid into his Dm. He was very welcoming, answered all my questions and cleared the doubts I had. He started checking in after a few weeks, this was followed by him showing interest which I turned down because I was pretty much in love with the boo at the time.

 I ignored his messages on WhatsApp and he stopped reaching out for a while. He checked in on Twitter every two or three months asking about my life and my partner. He checked in again a few weeks after the break-up and I told him I'm single again. He pursued me actively for weeks, telling me how much he loved, cared and cherished me, how he thinks he is the best person for me. We talked about my career a lot, moves to make and how to become a well rounded and well-informed woman, he put me on my toes because he is a very intelligent man. I love intelligent men.

I went with the flow, talked everyday, regular lover talk, dude was very smooth, said the right things, painted an amazing picture of our future, I don't think Picasso can paint a picture better than the one he did. 

I started to question the connection and decided to break it off because I saw him as a mentor instead of a lover. After a few weeks, we picked up where we left off. The dude continued with his regular lover boy behaviour, the plan was to continue at a slow pace pending the time we meet and see if we hit it off in person.

He forgot to mention he is married. 

Yes Married! 

I noticed he would only call from the car, study, toilet or office. His excuse was the network in the house is bad, and the reception was only good in certain places. A lot of his stories didn't make sense so I decided to do some digging and found a wife of five years, he married his girlfriend from uni. 

I asked him, at first he was apologetic, insisted it's not what it looks like, he has plans to tell me in person claimed he was separated and was not comfortable telling every lady he asks out. 

Lies !!!!!

Soon he started withdrawing, messages reduced and calls stopped. This might be because I threatened to reach out to his wife with proof, you can't take  Ruks fi idiat and get away with it.

 He got very defensive the last time I talked to him, blocked him on Twitter cos dude was steady stalking my tweets and felt he could laugh at them. 

Good Radiance!

Mr Emotinally Unavailble: he was my favourite, I actually really liked him and left myself get carried away with my emotions. I got talking to him through a friend, at first, the conversation was bleeh then dude fucked off for a month only to text randomly at 5am apologizing. 

We started talking and I noticed I really liked him, even though he was nowhere near my type and I'm no his type, dude liked them thin and I'm at least 15kgs heavier than his regular babes. 

We hit it off , made plans to see. The disappearing acts started, dude would fuck off days, come back saying he wanted to be sure everything was real.

I am a very understanding person, well I think I am. 

I told him not to let family pressure get him into a relationship, but dude insisted he liked me and wanted a relationship. 

Kept fucking off and coming back, I reached out twice and kept the conversation at the bare minimum, muted him on my IG, God forbid I give a man I used to like the impression I'm checking on him. Sorry, we don't do that here. 

Single life sucks, but I'm not in a hurry to jump into anything, looking forward to meeting new guys and going on dates and fingers crossed my mother does not have a heart attack before I meet the right man. 

She thinks I'm way too old to be single, she was married with two kids at my age, I am 26 going 27 in five weeks but this woman makes it sound like I'm 50.

XXXX

L.D