Skip to main content

WHAT IF ?

What if I'm one of those women who will never get married?
What if I'm of those women who will never get married?
What if I'm one of those women who will spend years trying to have a child?

But the society I was born into shames you if you for any of the above. Sometimes I wonder if  would end up becoming that successful aunt or friend who everyone loves yet feels sorry for because  I have no man or no children. 

No one has ever died from not been married but thousands of people have been killed by their spouse all over the world. 
No one has ever died from been childless, but hundreds of children are killed by a parent and hundreds of parent(s) are killed by their child(ren). Thousands of children have been abandoned and forced to have a terrible life which in most cases leads to their children having a terrible life.

I have so many weird questions in my head, the older I get the more I get scared about one of these becoming my reality. Been born in Nigerian and growing up in a Nigerian household, means once you are done with your education the next thing to do is start a career, get married and have a family of your own. 
When I was younger I always said I didn't want children and that made perfect sense at the time, but I started having boyfriends. Each relationship more serious than the previous one, I've been in my current relationship almost three years and marriage is definitely on the table and the thoughts of being the mother to his children warm my heart and send chills down my spine. 

My biggest fear is been married and not been able to have children. What happens next? I have no problem adopting a childing or looking into surrogacy but will a typical Nigerian family accept that? 
I have an everything happens for a reason approach to life.  
Let's say I meet a man who does not want to have any children, I am perfectly okay to accept and build my life around that. Two people coming to an agreement on something is different to them wanting something and not been able to get it.   
I have no problem with adopting but will my spouse and his family accept that?


" Don't let anything you have no control over contol you"

What do you guys think of this? Please share your thoughts. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR! HOPE THIS NEW YEAR BRINGS US LOVE AND BLESSINGS.

XXXX
L.D 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Act of Indecent Dressing.

I've always wondered how women can walk around looking almost naked yet feeling comfortable with it.
I've never been one for going out with skimpy clothes, I do have some skirts and dresses that are above the knees, but they stay unworn in the back of the wardrobe, I wore a very questionable leather peplum to the beach and I felt very uncomfortable, had to pull it down ever time I stood up , and when It was my turn to go get drinks my brothers friend took a look at me and told me to sit down.
 I was embarrassed, but I turned a lot of heads, when we switched locations to Waterside I had a guy wait for me outside the toilet since he couldn't approach me in from of the two intimidating men I was with.
He offered to take me out clubbing and I blamed it on the skirt because I was dressed like I belonged in a club.

HAIR POST.

Everyone who knows me, knows how much I hate getting my hair done.
I went natural in 2013 but a hair stylist in Abuja convinced me to perm it, I continued doing that for a year then I went back natural in 2014.
I've been natural for over two years but maintaining it has been very stressful, so I decided to get dreads but I was too scared to give it a go. I waited until after law school and I finally grew the balls I needed to get my hair locked today 07/01/2018.
It took almost five hours of rolling, crocheting and twisting but it looks somehow similar to having dreads, my head hurts like crazy, the lady who did it trimmed a lot of my hair.
I've always been skeptical about getting my hair locked, because I didn't was it looking too short and sticking out on different ends, however that was how it came out.
Hopefully it grows faster.
I feel kinda weird, so I would stick to wigs and scarves until it looks better.

XXXX
L.D

I GOT A JOB!

Hi guys,
I finally got a job, after eight weeks of trying and over a hundred online applications.
I spent a lot of time applying for legal jobs and kept getting turned down, this affected my morale, after a while, I gave up on finding a legal job and switched to finding an entry level job that will put money in my account and also keep me busy.

I got an email from a company scheduling a phone interview which went well until I was turned down at the third stage. This really got to me as they made me feel I was going to get the job, I had my hopes up and stopped searching for other jobs.
BIG MISTAKE !

After I got the rejection email, I picked myself up and went to turn up at a wedding, I ended up spending the night beside an acquaintance from college who told me about the company where he works and also informed me that they are always recruiting. He sent me the links on Monday and I got a call on Tuesday asking me to come in for an interview on Thursday of the next week, which was thre…