Skip to main content

When I'm Gone.

I often wonder what will happen when I'm gone when I bid farewell to the world and embark on an unknown journey to meet my creator. Thoughts like this often cross my mind after having a bad dream which is very frequent or when someone really young I know dies. I've heard about the death of a lot of young people over the last few years from a classmate to a friend, school mate, people I walked past in the corridors  there was a time in secondary school where a person died from each graduating senior year, a friend of a friend, someone who I've said hello to.


The one that really hit me was the death of my friend, Larry, it came as a shock because we didn't know he was sick, we all thought he didn't look right, was too skinny and amongst other things but we never asked we just went about our business and me with my silly jokes. After a while we got so used to seeing him the jokes weren't funny, Larry didn't attend my uni but when he started coming he couldn't stop, we would get to the common room and he was always there waiting.
People took advantage of his looks and kindness which pissed off some of the people who actually cared about him. " Is it me or you are looking fine theses days?" was the last thing I said to him the last time I saw him.  We didn't see him for months, but we always talked about him during our daily card games.

I was discharged from the hospital after been admitted for 3 days the news of his death was posted on social media and I was one of the last people to find out since I had no WiFi at the hospital and the first thing that crossed my mind was that this could have been me. My case was not half as serious as his, but people went to the hospital with headaches and never came back, I didn't stop bleeding, I knew what was going on, but I didn't want to admit it, I would raise a lot of eyebrows so I just played along. I never grieved my personal loss, but the is it a loss when you never wanted something. It was in a better place.

His funeral mass was held at the chapel of the hospital which was close to the mortuary, for some reason I ended up in the wrong building and once I stepped in, I felt a cold chill run down my spine so I walked out, it played back in my head and it took me a few days to realise I walked into the mortuary instead of the chapel.

The last few years the deaths happened at least twice a year, the 'Did you hear ?' or the long social media statuses of mourners. And each death leave me wondering how many years, months, days or weeks I have left?
What would people say about me?
How many more people do I have to mourn about?
Who will mourn me?

Each death leaves me getting close to God mentally, I plan how I would use that to beg for forgiveness and live the life of a true believer following the teachings of the Quran, but the thoughts only stay in my head and quickly disappeared after the box touches the ground nd is fully covered with sand.
Today was with the news on the death of a young teenager who I've seen at the mosque the few times I go, my mind immediately turned on it grief mode, planning a lifetime of getting closer to God.

Death is a horrible thing and I hope and pray we all live to see old age before the pages of our life runs and before we are summoned.

Until next time,
XXXXX
L.D

Comments

  1. It's a terrible thing in that it takes away the people that we love and hold dearly, and it's a beautiful thing too...they get to go to a better place, and are just a step ahead of us.
    Great thoughts and best wishes!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Act of Indecent Dressing.

I've always wondered how women can walk around looking almost naked yet feeling comfortable with it. I've never been one for going out with skimpy clothes, I do have some skirts and dresses that are above the knees, but they stay unworn in the back of the wardrobe, I wore a very questionable leather peplum to the beach and I felt very uncomfortable, had to pull it down ever time I stood up , and when It was my turn to go get drinks my brothers friend took a look at me and told me to sit down.  I was embarrassed, but I turned a lot of heads, when we switched locations to Waterside I had a guy wait for me outside the toilet since he couldn't approach me in from of the two intimidating men I was with. He offered to take me out clubbing and I blamed it on the skirt because I was dressed like I belonged in a club.

I PICKED UP THE HIJAB

 I'm slowly transitioning from a cleavage bearing, alcohol sipping Muslim woman to a full-time hijabi.  Where do I start from? I've always wanted to be a hijabi but I didn't have the courage to do it, I admired Muslim women in their scarves and hijab, I gave it a go in Uni, tied a turban for a few weeks and I got bored and ditched it.  Told myself I will pick it up when I get married, I still need enough time to flaunt my locs, bare my chest and wear dresses with slits going above my knees.  I enjoyed sipping cocktails, drinking champagne and mostly Jack Daniels and coke, I quit alcohol a few times, the longest I went without alcohol was 12 months. I'm not an alcoholic, I go months without drinking on the regs,. especially when I'm in Dublin, but I need booze to survive in Lagos. A few shots once I get home from the airport, then Star Radler or Snapp before noon, this continues until I leave the city.  My motto was " I can't be sober in Lagos". 

RAMEN IS NOT FOR ME.

 Do not believe what you see on the internet... Fighting for my life as type this, by fighting for my life, I mean my stomach and mouth are on fire.  My nose is running and I'm screaming for pain.  Why ????????????????   Two nights ago I saw a tweet where someone was hyping how delicious Ramen is and how it is way better than Indomine.  Curiosity killed the cat they said, well I am a 94kg, 5'2 26 years old cat in human form.  I jumped on Amazon, checked out a few brands, picked one, during my quest of finding the one with the cheapest shipping, I accidentally subscribed for Prime... Oops