Asake.

This was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. My wedding ceremony was not how I’d always imagined; it was rushed and happened so fast it seems like a dream.

‘Are you ready?’ a voice asked from the bathroom. The sound of his voice sends shivers down my spine; I don’t why know he scares me.

‘Yes’ I answered.

My sister told me everything I needed to know about what was going to happen. I took of my night dress and waited in my knickers.

Standing behind me, he started cupping my breast in his hands, I stay still as I watched his movement in the mirror, and I freeze as my body starts to respond to his touch.

He proceeds to undress himself; I close my eyes as he pulled off his boxers. Mother had always made us close our eyes when father took his clothes off back in the family house.

‘Lay down ‘his  whispered as his eyes moved to the bed, his voice calm yet scary. I did as I was told.

Minutes, groans, moans and tears after, my husband collapsed beside me.

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Four months ago he walked into the compound with his father asking for a young and untouched girl. Father mentioned my sister but he refused. My older sister Asake was married, but not for long, she came back home after a year with a broken arm and a scar on her cheek.

To the suitor she was considered 'tainted milk'. Her husband had chased her for defying him and being rude. My once jolly and playful sister came back home a shadow of her old self she spent her days in the room we shared weeping uncontrollably for weeks, to her, her life and beauty was ruined permanently. She hated her ex mother in-law and never stopped calling her an ugly old witch blaming her for the collapse of her marriage; secretly I always suspected Asake's care fee attitude and sharp mouth contributed a large part of her being chased out of Alade’s house.

I never mentioned this to her though, with Asake you always had to agree and support her views. She grew bitter and bitter with each passing day.

She vehemently protested when mother informed her of my wedding preparations, she sulked for days and refused to come out of our room to celebrate my birthday with the family. How often does her only sister turn fourteen?

The day before the ceremony, she came into the room to help me pack my bags. ‘Bolanle always do as you are told, it makes things easier, sho tigbo?’ she advised. Asake is not the type of person to advice some else, all she cared about was herself; I guess marriage does change people.

She told me things mother failed to mention about marriage, including sex. That explains the noises that came from mothers and father when they thought we were asleep. We laughed as she mimicked the noises; I wonder what Asake sounded like when she and her husband did it or what I would sound like.

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‘You are sweet ‘Tunde said as he parted my legs, to get in position, I felt a sharp sting as he started to thrust, oh the pain! Tears filled my eyes as I felt my insides being ripped apart with each thrust, Asake didn’t say it was going to be painful.

Waking up the next morning and he was fast asleep beside me. Wrapper barely covering his buttocks. I could still feel a dull ache between my thighs. Ignored the pain and got up to go and prepare his breakfast...no matter how painful last night was. I plan to do everything he says, if it means going through this pain every night for the rest of my life.

 I don’t want to end up, battered, bruised and lonely like Asake.

Sorry I've been away and i hope this makes up for my absence.